not-the-very-button:

I just threw up from drinking for the first time ever. 

It was the worst thing.

Why.

I have been drunker than this.

Why now.

I forgot how much vomiting sucks. 

Especially when there’s like nothing left to come up but your toliet’s like this big open mouth screaming 

"MORE! I DEMAND MORE OF YOU! DOWN DOWN TO THE DEPTHS WITH IT"

And you cry because, I’m sorry Mr. Toliet but there isn’t anymore.

But Mr. Toliet doesn’t care.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE"

The Worst. 

panic/anxiety attack

pushed-too-far:

chris-sid:

jaspinder:

  • breath in for 4 seconds
  • hold your breath for 7 seconds
  • exhale breath for 8 seconds

repeat once or twice more.

This causes an autonomic nervous system shift from a sympathetic (fight or flight reaction) state to a parasympathetic response.

Use this for panic/anxiety attacks, exams, presentations.

Never not reblog

Tumblr got anxiety advice. Fuck yeah.

(Source: manualsexdrive)

No sympathy for rapists, no sympathy for abusers, no sympathy for those who side with them. No excuses for their behavior, no justifications, no exceptions.

(Source: akalittleone)

Corey Vidal —Youtube Abuse

Did it bother anyone else seeing Corey Vidal in the newest WheezyNews video? 

In all honestly, it really upset me seeing this man casually hanging out with other Youtubers as if all was well and certain things of the past had never happened. He has remained silent about this issue, despite declaring that he would make a video in response to the manipulation and abuse stories and personal accusations against his own behavior.

In the 2 hours and 23 minutes of his most recent video on his personal Youtube channel (which was uploaded almost two months after this post were he stated the video would be going up the following month), Mr. Vidal does not once mention Shannon Antilles and how he treated her, or any other direct response to consent or safety in the Youtube community. The raw footage is *his* story —as stated in the title of the video— a selfish recount about his struggle with ADHD, a lesson on what ADHD really is, and how he’s had a hard time in the past because of it. Absolutely nothing about consent or healthy relationships.

I am not demanding or even asking that he make a direct response to Ms. Antilles’ post, or to the Youtube abuse stories as a whole. Mostly because Mr. Vidal has had plenty of time to do so and chosen not to. {The closest he’s come to saying anything more about this issue is to reblog two posts on his tumblr, an extremely passive and uninvolved action. The first post explains the signs of emotional abuse, the other is an ask over how Mr. Vidal needs to be held responsible for his lack of any comment regarding the allegations against him.} There are many others who have stepped forward to make a statement so as to stand with the victims. 

I am writing this post because it distresses me that this man was apparently invited to speak on a panel at Vidcon, and has been in contact with other Youtubers —the content of which has been documented on Youtube. 

I am not saying that his friends should drop him and move on, but it is greatly upsetting seeing a Youtuber I respect and admire vlogging about a get-together with a man who has been accused of being manipulative and cohersive. It proves that posting 2+ hours of unedited footage after the heat has died down to gain sympathy and make others feel sorry for you, and refusing to further acknowledge accusations made against you, means there will not be any consequences from the community in which the abusive behavior occurred. 

I *am* saying that the Youtube community has an obligation to hold individuals accountable. By continuing to publicly support those who have been accused —rather than pause, investigate, and attempt to find a solution to the problem and publicly address it— sends a message to the victims that their voices and their stories are not valued, are not listened to, and are ignored. It encourages an unsafe environment. This is wrong and it needs to stop.

recoveringhipster:

So stoked about the Hobby Lobby ruling today. Officially going to incorporate myself so I can get a religious exemption for my student loans debt they violate my deeply held religious conviction that all debts are supposed to be forgiven every seven years, as per the book of Deuteronomy.

Real talk

n0t-brokenjustbent:

blk0912:

boredandmoist:

This time last year I was unemployed, broke, and suicidal.

Today, I just got the keys to my first house.

Give it time.

Needed this today

Congrats😃

VidCon Attendees: Beware of Stephen Purcell (*trigger warning*)

uncultured:

This year at VidCon, you might not see a few familiar faces. Tom Milsom, Mike Lombardo, Alex Day, Luke Conard, and many others will either not be there this year or will be very low key. This is because of the bravery of individuals who have come forward and talked about their experiences of abuse from these men.

There’s one name (that you probably wouldn’t recognize) that should also be on the list of no shows. But he’ll be there at VidCon this year. He’ll be there, in part, because I lacked the bravery of people like Kristina, Hayley G., Shannon, Olga, and Rosi and publicly name my abuser.

His name is Stephen Purcell.

I first met Stephen in 2011. We connected through OK Cupid. In the process of getting to know Stephen, he shared with me many confessions. One of his first confessions was that, at 270 lbs, I was not his type. So why date me? As he also later confessed, he "wanted to use me for my connections".

In hindsight, I realize now that I was drawn to Stephen for all the wrong reasons. He confessed that his father is an alcoholic, that he had experience dealing with family abuse, that he had a history of shakey and short-lived romantic relationships, and (of the most concern) he had a history of watching and possessing child pornography and a history of sexual relations with legal minors.

I wanted to help Stephen through these struggles and I thought I could help by being in a relationship with him. Stephen became the first guy I ever dated, the first guy I ever said "I love you" to, and the first person I ever changed my Facebook relationship status for. Ever.

Maybe because I had low self-esteem to begin with, maybe because my own family’s history of abuse, or maybe because I thought if Stephen rejected me he might turn his attention back to minors, I tolerated many things that I shouldn’t have. Reading what others who have also faced abuse have written on Tumblr, I was tolerating many of the same things they were.

First was accepting the fact that I wasn’t good enough and needed to change. The biggest of this change has resulted in what my IRL friends and family describe as an eating disorder. I don’t eat everyday. Somedays I go without food for days at a time. This is true even on days when you see me posting about biking or going to the gym.

I stopped eating daily because Stephen made it clear I needed to lose weight in order to be attractive to him. In fact, we never once kissed, got naked, or had sex because he insisted I would have to lose the weight first. Incidentally, after dumping me (and after I lost 100 lbs), I got a message from Stephen offering a hookup because I looked "fantastic" now. I declined.

Not only do I struggle to this day with how I eat and view myself, I also struggle to figure out what a healthy definition of consent is. Stephen once explained that he had a "visceral reaction" at any of my attempts at affection. I respected this and refrained from hand holding, head nudging, and tickling (all of which he banned). I also respected his boundaries by agreeing to only show affection (such as kissing him on the cheek or shoulder) if I received express permission from him first.

What was confusing to me was that Stephen made it seem that I was not worthy of the same respect. In particular, I made it clear that I didn’t enjoy or consent to him hitting me or threatening to hit me. But, both in private and public, Stephen wouldn’t hesitate to smack me on my head if I did something he didn’t approve of. And there many things he disapproved of.

I would often incur Stephen’s rage (or, sometimes if he wanted to change things up, his silence and withdrawal) if I shook my leg in his presence, gave him a nickname (even calling him “Steve” instead of “Stephen” was unacceptable), if I ordered a high calorie meal at dinner, if I texted and made grammar mistakes, if I had the last word, if I liked too many of his instagrams, etc. It often felt like I was walking on eggshells - I was never sure what would solicit his scorn. Or punishment.

The fallout of this relationship ended with Stephen threatening to out me and me coming out in response to his threat. Up until now, however, I have never mentioned his full name. I decided to change that for three reasons:

1) I was protecting his identity for the wrong reasons. The fact is, to this day, I still fear Stephen. He warned me that he can be vindictive. After coming out, he threatened to sue me, drag my reputation through the mud, and make it impossible to continue my charity work. I want to be as brave as the other YouTubers who have come forward about abuse. And that means naming my abuser.

2) Both before, during, and after the relationship, Stephen displayed a near obsession with the YouTubers I knew. He pressured me to introduce him to The Gregory Brothers, asked to be introduced to Michael Buckley, and (after dumping me) took me back the evening he saw me tweeting about having having dinner with Karen Kavett, Andrew Huang, and Gunnarolla.

He once told me that "whether I like it or not" he intends to network and befriend with my friends in the YouTube community. In particular, he is most particularly obsessed with the vlogbrothers (in particular, Hank Green). Stephen mentioned trying to contact Hank literally hours after we became Facebook official with our relationship. He even broke no contact after dumping me to ask to be introduced to Hank Green.

Stephen has also used whatever job he had as an excuse to try and get in touch with Hank and John. The first was when he became Programming Director of an LGBT-themed gaming convention (GaymerX) and now it is in (from what I can see) part of his role working for the New York-based subsidiary of NTV (a Japanese TV and news station).

I feel like I owe it to my friends to let them know that someone both abusive and obsessive will be trying to contact or reach them while at VidCon.

3) I also feel like I owe it to everyone attending VidCon, in particular families who are bringing minors, that someone like Stephen will be in attendance at VidCon. Stephen Purcell is someone who has confessed to having fantasies involving children, having watched and possessed child pornography, and has had sexual relationships with at least one legal minor.

This isn’t rumor, speculation or even hearsay. Rather, these are things Stephen has discussed with me in writing. While I don’t know what will happen to Stephen, I have been told I need to come forward with all the evidence I have. As such, I’ve been compiling all the relevant written conversations I’ve had with Stephen regarding child porn and sex with minors to hand over to American authorities upon my return from Bangladesh.

It’s also important for me to say that, if you do meet Stephen in person at VidCon, he won’t seem like the person I’ve described in this blog post at all. The public Stephen is a sweet, kind, person who wouldn’t hurt a fly. He won’t be hitting anyone at VidCon. This is the side of him I fell in love with - but it’s only one side of him.

But abusers often have a darker less public side to them. And abuse doesn’t just happen by men against women. It can, as is the case here, by a man against another man. And, when it comes to abuse within the YouTube community, it isn’t always the content creator that is the abuser. In this case, I was the “celebrity” in the relationship. 

I also know that I can’t say these things without repercussions. I have made serious allegations. But I stand by what I’ve said here and have been careful to only say, only quote, and only mention that which I can prove - both to friends, followers, and in a court of law.

Thank you for your time.

Played 443,525 times

tigerhazard:

missmurrka:

dragoncalibrator:

keetongu:

frillious:

hicupp:

peachdoxie:

Every time someone says “dragon” in How to Train Your Dragon

i cANT BREATHE IM LAUGHING SO HARD

if you listen closely to my deep, inner mind this is what you’ll hear

iT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY INTENSE DEBATE ABOUT DRAGONS HELP

I feel like this completes my blog

muh draggins

this audio file accurately describes the inside of my head at all times

draggin’

mildlyautisticsuperdetectives:

Let’s just remove the Tony for best actor. After all, it’s really more of a technical craft than an art form. And how are Tony voters supposed to judge the actor’s work? Obviously it’s too hard for the judges of a theatre awards show to have a basic understanding of the Stanislavski method. That wouLd be too much to ask. Let’s just expect actors to do their work without getting any sort of reward or attention for it.

bitterteenager:

hannigraham:

Here’s a list of weird/strange articles on wikipedia in no particular order for you to read and just add more useless knowledge in your puny human brain. General murder/death trigger warning for most.

Bloody Mary || Kennedy curse || Taman Shud Case || La Voisin || Greyfriars Bobby || Pripyat || Albert Fish || Mary Toft || The Cure for Insomnia || Roanoke Colony || John Murray Spear || Arecibo message || Nuckelavee || Phaistos Disc || Tanganyika laughter epidemic || Mad Gasser of Mattoon || Murder of Junko Furuta || Peoples Temple || Ed Gein || Stargate Project || Jackalope || Numbers station || UVB-76 || Bélmez Faces || Donner Party || Adam || Mariana UFO incident || Valentich disappearance || Cleveland Torso Murderer || Trepanning || Dyatlov Pass incident || Grey goo || Overtoun House || The Garden of Earthly Delights || Wilhelm Reich || Starchild skull || Original Night Stalker || Owlman || Ararat anomaly || British big cats || Jack the Ripper || Clapham Wood Mystery || Pope Lick Monster || Shadow person || Out-of-place artifact || Black Dahlia || Jersey Devil || Crawfordsville monster || Koro || Philadelphia Experiment || Glasgow smile || Roswell UFO incident || David Parker Ray || D. B. Cooper || Total Information Awareness || Goatman || Grey alien || Joachim Kroll || Peter Kürten || Gilles de Rais || Alien abduction || Joseph Vacher || Mothman || Polywater || Catacombe dei Cappuccini || Villisca Axe Murders || Grace Sherwood || Loveland frog || The Hermitage || Jatinga || Sankebetsu brown bear incident || Mongolian death worm || Devil’s Footprints || The Sick Child || H. H. Holmes || Dysaesthesia aethiopica || Bloody Benders || Lamia || Black Paintings || The Monster with 21 Faces || Shirime || Lina Medina || Exploding head syndrome || Quantum suicide and immortality || Mokele-mbembe || Spontaneous human combustion || Dulce Base || Chandre Oram || Oscar || Men in Black || Vladimir Demikhov || The Great Red Dragon Paintings || Bloop || Retroactive continuity || Elizabeth Báthory || Delphine LaLaurie || Silverpilen || Polybius || Guided rat || Robert J. White || Chelyabinsk meteor || Armin Meiwes || Big Crunch || Belchen Tunnel || Moberly–Jourdain incident || Boy Scout Lane || Princes in the Tower || Rosenheim Poltergeist || Peter Stumpp || Bermuda Triangle || Bachelor’s Grove Cemetery || Hill of Crosses || Self-immolation || Lycaon || Burke and Hare murders || Pykrete || Kate Morgan || List of unusual deaths || Sawney Bean || Rogue elephant of Aberdare Forest || Yoshio Kodaira || Incorruptibility || Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus || Toynbee tiles || Rat king || Sailing stones || Thalidomide || Jersey Shore shark attacks of 1916 || Tunguska event || Head transplant || List of cryptids || Borley Rectory || Sedlec Ossuary || Alien hand syndrome || Capgras delusion || Mellified man || Atuk || Monster of Glamis || Spring-heeled Jack || Allagash Abductions || Aokigahara || Raymond Robinson (Green Man) || Premature burial || Brain transplant || Nightmarchers || Decompression illness || Midgetville || Zombie || Mercy Brown vampire incident || Necromancy || Lamkin || Harry K. Daghlian, Jr. || Icelandic Phallological Museum || Neisseria meningitidis || Unit 731 || Bunny Man || Bubbly Creek || Malleus Maleficarum || Moll Dyer || Original Spanish Kitchen || Charles Bonnet syndrome || Voynich manuscript || Black Annis || True name || Dorothy Talbye trial || Black dog || Wandering Jew || Sarin gas attack on the Tokyo subway || Yara-ma-yha-who || Rod Ferrell || The Juniper Tree


I’ve been waiting for a post like this one 

bitterteenager:

hannigraham:

Here’s a list of weird/strange articles on wikipedia in no particular order for you to read and just add more useless knowledge in your puny human brain. General murder/death trigger warning for most.

Bloody Mary || Kennedy curse || Taman Shud Case || La Voisin || Greyfriars Bobby || Pripyat || Albert Fish || Mary Toft || The Cure for Insomnia || Roanoke Colony || John Murray Spear || Arecibo message || Nuckelavee || Phaistos Disc || Tanganyika laughter epidemic || Mad Gasser of Mattoon || Murder of Junko Furuta || Peoples Temple || Ed Gein || Stargate Project || Jackalope || Numbers station || UVB-76 || Bélmez Faces || Donner Party || Adam || Mariana UFO incident || Valentich disappearance || Cleveland Torso Murderer || Trepanning || Dyatlov Pass incident || Grey goo || Overtoun House || The Garden of Earthly Delights || Wilhelm Reich || Starchild skull || Original Night Stalker || Owlman || Ararat anomaly || British big cats || Jack the Ripper || Clapham Wood Mystery || Pope Lick Monster || Shadow person || Out-of-place artifact || Black Dahlia || Jersey Devil || Crawfordsville monster || Koro || Philadelphia Experiment || Glasgow smile || Roswell UFO incident || David Parker Ray || D. B. Cooper || Total Information Awareness || Goatman || Grey alien || Joachim Kroll || Peter Kürten || Gilles de Rais || Alien abduction || Joseph Vacher || Mothman || Polywater || Catacombe dei Cappuccini || Villisca Axe Murders || Grace Sherwood || Loveland frog || The Hermitage || Jatinga || Sankebetsu brown bear incident || Mongolian death worm || Devil’s Footprints || The Sick Child || H. H. Holmes || Dysaesthesia aethiopica || Bloody Benders || Lamia || Black Paintings || The Monster with 21 Faces || Shirime || Lina Medina || Exploding head syndrome || Quantum suicide and immortality || Mokele-mbembe || Spontaneous human combustion || Dulce Base || Chandre Oram || Oscar || Men in Black || Vladimir Demikhov || The Great Red Dragon Paintings || Bloop || Retroactive continuity || Elizabeth Báthory || Delphine LaLaurie || Silverpilen || Polybius || Guided rat || Robert J. White || Chelyabinsk meteor || Armin Meiwes || Big Crunch || Belchen Tunnel || Moberly–Jourdain incident || Boy Scout Lane || Princes in the Tower || Rosenheim Poltergeist || Peter Stumpp || Bermuda Triangle || Bachelor’s Grove Cemetery || Hill of Crosses || Self-immolation || Lycaon || Burke and Hare murders || Pykrete || Kate Morgan || List of unusual deaths || Sawney Bean || Rogue elephant of Aberdare Forest || Yoshio Kodaira || Incorruptibility || Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus || Toynbee tiles || Rat king || Sailing stones || Thalidomide || Jersey Shore shark attacks of 1916 || Tunguska event || Head transplant || List of cryptids || Borley Rectory || Sedlec Ossuary || Alien hand syndrome || Capgras delusion || Mellified man || Atuk || Monster of Glamis || Spring-heeled Jack || Allagash Abductions || Aokigahara || Raymond Robinson (Green Man) || Premature burial || Brain transplant || Nightmarchers || Decompression illness || Midgetville || Zombie || Mercy Brown vampire incident || Necromancy || Lamkin || Harry K. Daghlian, Jr. || Icelandic Phallological Museum || Neisseria meningitidis || Unit 731 || Bunny Man || Bubbly Creek || Malleus Maleficarum || Moll Dyer || Original Spanish Kitchen || Charles Bonnet syndrome || Voynich manuscript || Black Annis || True name || Dorothy Talbye trial || Black dog || Wandering Jew || Sarin gas attack on the Tokyo subway || Yara-ma-yha-who || Rod Ferrell || The Juniper Tree

I’ve been waiting for a post like this one 

(Source: raybolger)

dungeonmaster11 asked
Mr. Gaiman, I was wondering something. Have you ever talked on the topic of enjoying (or at least trying to enjoy) the work of an author or artist who you dislike/hate, or just disagree with in many respects in real life? For instance, I love Ender's Game, and I have a copy of Card's guide to writing fantasy and sci-fi, but I find the man's politics to be completely hateful and revolting, to say the least.

neil-gaiman:

I’ve talked about it a few times. For example, 

http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2006/06/in-wee-small-hours-of-morning.html

I said

If I were only allowed to read or enjoy art or listen to music made by people whose opinions and beliefs were the same as mine, I think the world would be a pretty dismal sort of a place. I love the work of many creators who self-avowedly believe or believed things that I consider to be “fairly wretched”, not to mention wrong-headed, lunatic, irresponsible or simply wrong. Worse yet: there are artists, actors, songwriters, authors, whose work I love, like or admire and who, biographers or historians tell us, actually did things that were utterly reprehensible. And worse even than that, there are all those things by Anonymous, who could have been or thought or done, well, anything, and we’ll never know…

Ezra Pound was a fascist, an antisemite on a level that makes the Aryan Nation seem wishy washy, a traitor (or at best, a collaborator), and I’m very glad I got to read his poetry, and appreciate it and learn from it. I could list dozens more without breaking a sweat. Most, probably all, human beings get to do awful things and believe things that other human beings think they should be burned for believing, and they get to do and believe wonderful things too, and artists, writers, musicians, creators, actors, are nothing if not human beings.

The art isn’t the artist, the poem isn’t the poet; trust the tale, not the teller.

(The sad flip-side is I’ve met people — writers and artists — over the years who I liked immediately, with whom I found myself agreeing on everything to do with art and aesthetics so closely that we might have shared the same head, people whose world-views were pretty much mine, whom I’d talk with far into the night and whom I parted from excited that I’d met them, looking forward to nothing more than reading their writing or looking at their art… and then I would find what they had done, and, at least as far as my taste was concerned, the books would be uninteresting, the drawings ugly or clumsy. And in an odd way, that hurts more than liking the work of someone who behaved badly, or thought in a way that I consider offensive or wrong.)